A Common Fan’s Sports Diary

One of the most visible ads during the IPL matches is Zapak’s “Cricket Se Aapko Kya Mila”. This one is based on the premise that we meaning the fans don’t get anything out of cricket. The cricketers seem to be getting everything and fans also deserve to get something out of the game. I know money means everything to Reliance but don’t think ‘real’ cricket fans will agree with their philosophy.

First about the ad itself. I kind of recognized most of cricketers in the spoof but couldn’t identify the guy with the sanitary napkin. Will someone in Zapak or any of the Reliance companies please tell me the name of the cricketer who endorses a sanitary napkin brand? I think it’s a tasteless joke.

Now for the message in the ad. Here’s my answer to Zapak. We watch cricket for the cricket itself. It gives us great moments of pleasure, pain and joy and that is what we crave. We marvel at the amazing skill and that is what we want to see. We need to identify with something and cricket gives us that identity. Yeh Sab Kuch Humko Cricket Se Mila.

Obviously Reliance and Zapak don’t understand all this. They always look to make money in whatever they do. This is a great philosophy and has made reliance what they are today – India’s largest business empire. But we are poor cricket fans and we will manage with whatever cricket has been offering all this while. Cricket Se Hume Sirf Cricket Hi Chahiye Aur Kuch Nahin.

The league stage of the IPL is over and the knock-out games start tomorrow. Like the American leagues we will also hand out awards separately for the regular season and then for the knock-out round. In today’s daily dose we will first hand out the non-cricketing awards. Part two will have all the cricketing awards.

Award for the ‘Best Fan Attire/Apparel’ goes to the Blue Chiffon Saris worn by the female fans of the Rajasthan Royals. Forget the jerseys and the Tees; this is as truly Indian as it will ever get. And full marks for original thought. Historically the Rajputs have worn saffron to battle but blue seemed to have done the trick this time round.

Award for the ‘Most Inhospitable Team’ is jointly shared by the Kings XI Punjab and the Kolkata Knight Riders. These teams don’t even have enough accommodation for their own players. On second thoughts the award only goes to the Punjab side. They are part-owned by an hotelier for god’s sake.

Award for the ‘Most Unsporting Parent’ goes to Krishnamachari Srikanth. He disappeared into thin air the day his son made a disappointing debut in the IPL. He didn’t have the gall to make his customary post match player bashing appearance. We wanted to hear his analysis of Anirudha’s performance.

Award for the ‘Most Indigestible Comment’ goes to commentator Ranjit Fernando. On being asked to comment on the poor early form displayed by the Kings XI Punjab, he commented that the foreign players from Sri Lanka were taking a while to get settled as they were suffering from jet lag!!!. Has the island nation drifted away and become part of the American mainland?

Mr Fernando kindly stay back on the stage please. We have another award for you.

Award for the ‘Most Abused Remark’ also goes to Ranjit Fernando. Till the time I could manage to keep count he had already used “and that is the best thing about the IPL format” 23, 387, 543 times. Everything that he saw had to do with format it seems. The world was not created on the day the IPL started, Mr Fernando.

In a manner similar to the way congressman fall over each other in trying to praise Sonia Gandhi, IPL commentators were trying to out-do each other in their efforts to praise Lalit Modi. The theme was to eulogize him as the great visionary who started the IPL. The winner of the ‘Praise Lalit Modi’ suck-athon is Arun Lal. He happened to know that Lalit Modi wasn’t second to Subhash Chandra in thinking about a league like this and that Modi had dreamt of the IPL long before anyone knew. So how did Arun Lal know? Was he in bed with Mr Modi, when the IPL commissioner was dreaming about the IPL?

The Award for the ‘Best Proof that India is far ahead of the World in Gender Equality’ goes to the male cheerleaders in the IPL. Many countries now have female heads of State. But no nation has thought of semi-clad male cheer leaders. Who said there was nothing for female fans in the IPL?

Award for the ‘Worst Team Owner’ goes by a landslide margin to Dr Vijay Mallya. No time to wax eloquent about his efforts. We have more awards to hand out.

Award for the ‘Best Incentive provided by a Team Owner’ goes to Preity Zinta and the kisses handed out by her. No wonder the guys in her team are rocking. Her team also saved on spending for a brand ambassador.

Award for ‘Most Uninterested Politician’ goes to Raj Thackeray. The Mumbai team was playing a ‘Bihari Bhaiya’ in the form of Saurav Tiwary. That there was no reaction from Mr Thackeray and his cohorts is proof enough that he gave the tournament a complete miss.

Award for the ‘Biggest form of Chamchagiri’ goes to all the film stars who came out to support SRK’s Knight Riders against the Mumbai Indians. This game was played in Mumbai and these Chamchas were all decked out in gold and black against a city which has meant a world to them. They also win the Award for ‘Most Disloyal Fans’. Hope their fans turn disloyal too.

And finally the Award for ‘Best Holiday Travel package’ goes to Mr Lalit Modi. By creating various quota requirements for the teams, he ensured that there was tremendous scope for free loaders – guys who were in the sides just to make up the numbers. These guys got to travel with the players, stay in the five star hotels, practise with the game’s greats, sit in the dugouts and run on the field to celebrate. Cricket –mad people in this country will pay a fortune to get such an opportunity. Is there a better holiday package available in this country?

Thanks all of you for coming. We will be back shortly with all the cricketing awards

Shane Warne is mining heroes by the truckloads in the Rajasthan desert. Keeping count of the match winners in the Rajasthan side is becoming increasingly difficult. On a day when it seemed that Shane Warne had run out of all his aces, the Royals unearthed another champ who grabbed his rare chance to perform with both hands. Welcome to the Shane Warne show of unending magic tricks. The latest act – Niraj Patel delivered what could be a killer blow to the semi-final hopes of Mumbai Indians.

Talking of blows, the partnership was reminiscent of Mohammed Ali’s ‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee’ boxing style which was on view on ESPN. I switched over to watch Ali box when Patel and Jadeja were struggling initially. Just like the two of them Ali did little in the beginning. After watching Ali absorb punches and give his opponent a false sense of victory on ESPN for a while, I switched back to Set Max and watched Patel and Jadeja make an Ali-esque comeback and sting Mumbai like a bee.

Mumbai have every reason to feel gut wrenched. Just like the Punjab game, this one was in the bag with RR needing 43 off 18 on a wicket which had been low-scoring till then. They were numerous ‘only-ifs’ associated with the last ball and Mumbai will need all the strength of will and character to pick themselves up for the next game.

A load off Viru’s head

Delhi Daredevils are through to the semis and Virender Sehwag can get rid of the memory of the over he bowled against Punjab.

Mumbai almost joined a club every other team is a member of

Wicket-keepers have never had it as good as they have in the IPL. With the bat that is. Almost every team has had a match winning batting performance from their stumpers. Last night the Mumbai Indians and Yogesh Takawale almost joined the list which currently has KKR (Brendan McCullum) , RCB(Mark Boucher),CSK ( MS Dhoni), DD( Dinesh Karthik), KXP( Sangakkara) , DC ( Gilchrist) and RR ( Kamran Akmal). Mumbai’s entry based on Takawale’s cameo seemed such a ‘destined to be thing’ till we know what happened.

The day Superman met kryptonite

Shane Watson has all the physical attributes to play Superman on screen. His performance in the IPL has also been like a Superman who has won games with bat or ball depending on the need of the hour. Last night, Superman was reduced to a mortal being in both innings of the game. But he can afford to do that when he has the full assortment of super heroes for company

Rajasthan’s embarrassment of riches

Teams have been happy to have one decent opening pair. Rajasthan have 4 quality openers who can combine to form 6 different opening pairs. The captain can randomly select two guys from the likes of Smith, Asnodkar, Pathan and Kamran Akmal and count on them to get the team off to a flier.

Dude of the Day - Sohail Tanvir is as deserving as Niraj Patel. But Tanvir’s already got the Purple Cap and the MoM award for his efforts. Therefore, on a day when bowlers were on top for a change, Niraj Patel is our Dude of the Day.

Duds of the Day - All the experience in the Mumbai side which counted for nothing. In the heat of the battle a pair of greenhorns came through while the wily veterans floundered. The think tank of Sachin and Sanath erred by bowling Raje when Jayasuriya and Dwayne Smith were available. They should have remembered Dhawal Kulkarni’s 15 run over which tilted the balance in Delhi’s’ favour in the last game. And I haven’t mentioned Jayasuriya’s missed run-out chance off the last ball

Sourav Ganguly has done it again. Once more he’s come back with a bang to prove his doubters wrong. Dada can exit the tournament with his head held high. He is the highest run getter for his team and has the best economy among bowlers (save for Ajantha Mendis who played just one game). Moreover, he was almost single-handedly responsible for 3 of his teams last 4 wins. I don’t know if SRK and John Buchanan love him but his last effort has ensured that cricket lovers across the country are in love with him all over again.

Talking of SRK, this was also a day when both he and Dr Mallya managed to end up on the winning side. Both of them should take credit for their teams’ wins having motivated their teams in their own unique ways. SRK’s SMS seems to have done the trick for Kolkata. Airtel will soon be coming out with a new Value Added Service – receive motivational SMS’ from Shahrukh Khan. As for RCB, there seems to be some correlation in Dr Mallya having put a lid on his mouth and the team winning two games on the trot. This is called silent motivation.

There was a lot of talk about Hyderabad being one bowler short and it costing the side the game. But no one seems to be talking about the side missing a batsman or two. The side was in control of things till they introduced the fifth bowler. But the side were also on top till they lost their fourth wicket. How can the side end up short on both bowlers and batsmen when it is playing its full quota of 11 players and has a wicketkeeper who is good enough to play as a specialist batsman? This is because DC plays a few dummies that neither bowl nor bat and are there to just make up the numbers. A player whose father happens to be an influential cricket administrator is a case in point. After all the league has to maintain its nepotism quota.

Award for the best runner between wickets goes to

Wasim Jaffer for managing to get run-out twice in the same game. He wins the Dada-Inzy award for best runner in the IPL.

1992 World Cup revisited

RCB opened their bowling with Anil Kumble. Martin Crowe seems to have provided some input finally

Talk of a twenty-20 hangover

IPL Participants Ricky Ponting, Jacob Oram, Ross Taylor, Shivnaraine Chanderpaul, Brendan McCullum, Dwayne Bravo and Andrew Symonds seem to have made the transition from twenty-20 to test cricket with effortless ease. They have all been in splendid form and don’t seem to be suffering from a Twenty-20 hangover.

A story of two Australian coaches

John Buchanan has come out strongly against all the praise being showered on Shane Warne for being a great coach and a great leader. He says that one IPL doesn’t prove anything. Will Mr Buchanan care to check Shane Warne’s county record with Hampshire and also try talking to a guy called Kevin Pietersen about Shane Warne’s motivational skills? Once he’s done that he’ll be as talkative as Dr Mallya has been off late.

Dude of the Day – Umar Gul was a deserving Man of the Match but Dada is the Dude of the Day. Having faced a lot of flak from all quarters, he responded with a brilliant innings. His unbeaten effort ensured that KKR’s weak batting managed one of the best chases in the IPL.

Duds of the Day – All the beneficiaries of nepotism in this tournament. The various quotas allow for some free-loaders in each side. Forget domestic players, some lucky kids are also getting a chance to rub shoulders with the greats of the game. And for this special privilege they are the duds of the day

The great Marathas could never capture the crown of Delhi in their proud history. On 24/05/08 they laid siege again under the leadership of the new Chattrapati – Sachin Tendulkar and it looked as if history was in the making. They were thwarted, however, by the troops recruited from the South (Karthik and Maharoof). Sachin and his men were glorious even in defeat; quite unlike the last big battle the Marathas fought for control of Delhi – the humiliating defeat in the third battle of Panipat.

Virender Sehwag and team have kept their semi-final hopes alive and have good reason to feel confident of making the next stage. For them to get knocked out now, the Mumbai Indians and the Chennai Super Kings will have to win all their remaining games.

The Daredevils have other positives to take from this game. Their middle and lower-order finally fired and delivered in a situation where they generally tend to crumble and roll over. This win was also their first against somebody who is not a minnow (RCB and DC) in their last 9 games. The team will be in a very positive state of mind should they line up for the semis.

Mumbai lost a thriller for the second game running and have every reason to feel despondent. They also have the harder task of needing to beat both the Royals (quite a proposition) and the Royal Challengers in their two remaining games. Bu they have been playing good cricket overall and a little bit of luck or pluck could see them through. The veteran presence of Sachin, Sanath and Shaun will come in extremely handy

I wrote in the Daily Dose of 18/05/2008 that somehow Chennai manage to win all their tight games. They were either super lucky or simply super cool in pressure. Whatever it was, they are no longer the same. For the second home game running, they lost a match they were in control of till a very late stage. They have the easier task of just beating the last-placed Chargers but the Super Kings have lately developed a habit of making life difficult for

A mouth watering match-up in the making

Forget Warne against Sachin, I want to see Sohail Tanvir go against Jayasuriya and Tendulkar. Tanvir has been ‘awkwardly’ outstanding and extremely difficult to get away; at the beginning or at the end of the innings. Jayasuriya is back to his 1996 World Cup best. This contest will set the tone for this high stakes game.

Note to the BCCI

Please keep a close watch on Shane Warne. He continues to get the best out of his guys. Kamran Akmal and Pankaj Singh came in for this game and made their skipper proud. Employing him in some capacity with Indian Cricket should be priority number one. And make him the coach when Gary Kirsten gets sick of the Indian board. If anyone can make India true world beaters, it is Shane Warne. He’s managed to get even Munaf Patel motivated and kicked up.

A special word of praise for the Mumbai Indians Management

Getting Dwayne Smith and Andre Nel as late additions has been quite a coup. Compare that to the reinforcement jobs done by the CSK (Kapudegara), DC (Chamara Silva) and KKR (Brad Hodge). Getting the big guns is the easier task. Making key additions late in the season is the hallmark of well-run teams. Just check the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA – 4 time winners in the last 10 years.

Dudes of the Day – The Delhi middle-order with the exception of Dilshan. Dinesh Karthik was the man of the moment but key contributions came from Tiwary and Maharoof also. In a do-or-die game when the big three failed, these guys got the job done.

Duds of the Day - the Chennai Super Kings. They are hell-bent on giving their fans sleepless nights. Home game, player of the tournament Shane Watson sits out, 35 required off 18 with Dhoni and Morkel at the wicket and they still lose. MS Dhoni’s superstar status in Chennai could take a real beating if these guys miss out on the semis.

Shaun Marsh passed a very important personal or rather family landmark during his innings of 60 against the Deccan Chargers. It’s a little lateral but lateral is what you look for when Mohali plays Deccan – this was as inconsequential as it can get at this stage of the tournament.

Shaun’s dad Geoff Marsh scored 428 runs in the 1987 Cricket World Cup held in India and the son’s IPL haul crossed that number during last night’s game. Here’s how father and son stand as of today.

For once the folks in Chennai weren’t envying the rains in Delhi. Rather they were overjoyed. They have been lifted out of the grave they started digging for themselves in the game against Bangalore. We can no longer have a scenario where Delhi and Mumbai both have 16 points, making it necessary for Chennai to win both their remaining games. Chennai just have to win one game now and MS Dhoni and his boys will not have a sword hanging over their heads when they take on the Royals.

Mumbai’s Situation hasn’t changed though. Their run-rate is better than Delhi and they still need to either beat the Daredevils or win their other two games. And if it rains again in the DD-MI game, then Mumbai just need to win one of their two other games. The Indians are totally in control of their destiny.

The Rajasthan Royals are already through but their games against CSK, MI and KXP will determine the semi-final pairings. There will be no easy teams in the semis but Rajasthan know that Mumbai will have the added advantage of a raucous home crowd. It should be in their best interests to avoid them or eliminate them.

Delhi must be gutted. And to make matters worse for them the next game could be washed out as well. One point helps no one. Couldn’t we just have a bowl-out? Iam sure Dada and Viru would have preferred to take a chance and try and get 2 points rather than helplessly get knocked out of the IPL. Even a simple toss, with winner takes all would have been better. Can’t let the rain play such an important role. Surely some food for thought for Mr Lalit Modi.

Krishnamachari Srikanth was asked on Sun TV to unravel the mysteries of the Duckworth Lewis system for the benefit of the viewers

His reply – “I don’t think anyone understands the D/L system. It’s just understood by the computer which does the calculations. Even Messer’s Duckworth and Lewis who devised it don’t understand it.”

I don’t know who will be most aggrieved by this answer. Duckworth and Lewis, or the University where they devised this system as a course project, their project guide or the Sun TV fans who have to bear Srikanth. Here’s an explanation of the D/L system for Srikanth and anyone else who wants to know. And if this is not enough, I will arrange for the statistical modelling paper also.

Dudes of the Day – All the fans who turned up for the game in spite of the forecast. You truly love your cricket and your team.

Dud of the Day – Whoever is responsible for not foreseeing the possibility of rain and not planning for such an eventuality.

Man United are Champions of Europe once again. We’ll quickly talk about the game and then get to the sub-plots. There were so many in this game; each with the potential of becoming a fairytale ending for the parties. But first about the game.

Match verdict – Two well matched sides that played their hearts out in a game which was of the highest quality. I have never seen attacking football of this high standard in such a big game. Rather than play safe, Man United and Chelsea went for the jugular. Most games end up in penalties when the teams are overly defensive, but this game went to the shoot-out because Chelsea and United were too closely matched.

It’s a pity Chelsea had to lose and I say that as a hard core United fan. For the first time in my life I felt sorry for a side which had lost to my beloved ManU. In just 3 hours Chelsea went from enemy no one to a club I began to show some appreciation for. That I guess is the beauty of this game. A fan can get so mesmerized by its magnificence that he forgets all about enmity and hatred. More glory to football.

Now for the sub-plots.

God and the Busby Babes were with United tonight

2008 marks 50 years since the Munich air crash. This tragedy is one of the saddest incidents in all of sport. The Busby Babes could have gone on to win more than one European Cup. The loss left a huge emotional scar on the clubs psyche. God couldn’t have found a better time and a better way to heal some of United’s wounds. God provided United the slice of luck they needed to edge Chelsea. Fifty years on, the spirits of the Babes must have finally celebrated

Ronaldo the big match player – the good part

Questions have been asked of Ronaldo’s big match temperament. He answered his detractors in the best possible manner – a coolly taken header to give United the lead. Ronaldo continued to create havoc on the left flank and all seemed destined for a perfect finish for the Portuguese and for United; till Frank Lampard equalized throwing the perfect finish out of the window.

Ronaldo the big match player – the bad part

Ronaldo is United‘s regular penalty taker – supposed to be their best. But when his run-stop-run penalty was brilliantly read and saved by Cech, he was on the verge of becoming the villain of the piece. John Terry’s missed penalty ensured that Ronaldo escaped without any deep emotional scars.

Ronaldo and his move to Real Madrid

The chances that Ronaldo moved to Real if United won the title were huge. Having won the biggest club title, he would have had nothing left to prove. Delivering another UCL crown for Fergie would have also liberated Ronaldo of all the obligations he owed the manager for having nurtured him and having stood by him after the controversy of the England- Portugal WC clash.

In the end United won but chances are that Ronaldo will stay at Old Trafford. The Portuguese experienced great emotional upheaval during the game and was totally overwhelmed when United won. The experience should bind him closer to club and manager. Real can wait.

Roman Abramovich and the perfect ending

The Russian oligarch finally had a chance to lay his hands on the trophy he covets most. A victory at home in Moscow would have been almost a dream sequence for him. Roman might end up winning a UCL crown with Chelsea after all, but there is no chance it will happen in Moscow.

What if Andriy Shevechenko had been playing?

Andriy Shevechenko scored Chelsea’s last goal in the premiership. He also happens to have scored a Champions league winning penalty for AC Milan. Therefore, he had the right credentials to be a penalty taker based on historical pedigree and current luck in front of goal. Sadly for Chelsea the closest thing to a home-town boy in this game wasn’t even on the bench.

A reverse déjà vu for United which almost was

The final was eerily similar to United’s victory in 1999; in the reverse however. In that game United’s opponents Bayern Munich took an early lead and threatened to finish the game with a second goal. United had the world’s best goal keeper – Peter Scheimeichel in goal and the big Dane kept his side in the game with some brilliant saves. These saves proved crucial as United nicked two goals in the end.

This time United took and early lead and threatened to finish the contest with a second goal. Chelsea was kept in the game by their keeper Peter Cech – supposedly the world’s best. As Chelsea pressed for a winner towards the end, the events of 1999 flooded back. A late winner for Chelsea would have created the perfect reverse déjà vu. Luckily for united, Chelsea’s best efforts were kept out the by the woodwork.

The impact of the two managers’ new signings on the game

Fergie brought in Owen Hergreaves, Nani, Anderson and Carlos Tevez this season. All of them scored in the penalty shoot-out to keep United’s hopes alive. Avram Grant brought in Nicolas Anelka, whose missed effort buried Chelsea’s hopes. It’s a freakish coincidence but Fergie’s new pieces seem to have fitted in perfectly to create a Champions League Jigsaw for United.

Michael Ballack and a choice of clubs

Chelsea and United had both vied for the Germans services when he was at Bayern. Ballack chose Chelsea; apparently influenced by the fact that Chelsea stood a better chance of European glory with their heavy pockets and big players. On this day Ballack dreams were shattered by the same club he snubbed for Chelsea. Any hints for future players targeted by both clubs?

A fairy tale ending for John Terry that wasn’t

Chelsea has been expensively assembled by Roman’s millions. John Terry is a notable home-grown exception. John Terry miraculously recovered from an arm injury to play the final. He was heroic as usual; making what could have been the defining block of the game in extra time off Ryan Giggs’ effort. A trophy winning penalty by Chelsea’s favourite son would have been the icing on the cake. JT even sent the goalkeeper the wrong way. Unfortunately, he slipped and fluffed the penalty. A horror ending for the brave man. The poor man couldn’t even bear to see the trophy presentation.

The Greatest UEFA Champions League final ever

I saw Roberto Baggio miss a penalty in the World Cup final of 1994. I supported him and the Italians anguish saddened me as well. John Terry was a foe when the game started. He was a bitter enemy when he denied Ryan Giggs. But I felt for him when I saw the brave man cry. Football plays with our lives and binds us with its emotions. The emotions on display in this game make it the greatest Champions League final in living memory.