A Common Fan’s Sports Diary

Time to look at all the sup-plots from the 2009 Champions League final

It’s a little late to be doing this and it hurts as I remember the match but I needed to write this. So let’s quickly get this over with.

The White Jerseys

I am not implying that United lost because they played in white and not in their traditional red. But I can’t remember United winning a major final playing in white. There had been a lot of talk of United never having lost a major final but someone forgot to mention that they had actually dressed as the ‘Red’ Devils for all those finals they won. I didn’t have a good feeling as I saw them come out of the tunnel in white. I think it’s unfair to let only one side wear their home colours. If the jerseys clash then ask both to wear some other colour.

Memories of the 1994 Final

Barcelona were missing most of their defensive stalwarts and were expected to be vulnerable at the back. And then when United started in whirlwind fashion it looked as if a repeat of the 1994 final was on the cards. That was when another Barcelona side dubbed the ‘Dream Team’ had been played off the park 4-0 by AC Milan. Suddenly, the white jerseys looked like a good omen –Milan had also played in white ‘away’ jerseys on that night in 1994. Sadly, all such hopes vanished when Eto’o scored.

Memories of the 1999 Final

Even the commentators kept mentioning this. First there was an early goal like in 1999. Then United failed to mount a strong comeback finding no rhythm whatsoever. Van Der Saar, like Schmeichel in 1999, kept his side in the game preventing Barca from scoring again. And then it looked eerily similar when Xavi hit the post, just like Mehmet Scholl had done ten years ago. Then Messi scored to ensure that there were no more similarities.

A story of two tackles

United’s defensive lapse in the first goal has received less attention than it should have. First they allowed Iniesta to go on a long surging run with no one making an attempt to close him down or tackle him. The diminutive midfielder managed to thread the perfect pass to Eto’o who easily beat Vidic’s wild tackle and scored. A little while earlier, having been beaten by Ronaldo, Pique body checked the Portuguese to stop him from entering the Barca box unattended. United were supposedly the stronger defensive side but on this night Barca made the more important tackle.

Pique – from not good enough to too damn good

Unable to give him regular first team football, United let Gerard Pique go to Barcelona for almost nothing. The Catalan has since established himself as the defensive mainstay of Barca. And on this night he marshalled the makeshift defence superbly and single-handedly outshone the pair of Vidic and Ferdinand. Apart from the body check, he made a crucial block and was there to snuffle out every single one of United’s attacks. When United loan out players, they stipulate that the player cannot play against the Red Devils. If only they had made a similar agrrement then they let Pique go to Barcelona

What about Cristiano Ronaldo

How does this performance affect his plans to go to Madrid? He conclusively lost his ‘best player in the world’ battle with Messi. Going to Real Madrid gives him two guaranteed shots at renewing the rivalry every year. He might not get a chance to do that United in the near future. On the other hand, United have a good young nucleus which will return to many more finals and Ronaldo will always be the centre of their attack and of media attention. He is the crown prince of premiership football. He will have to challenge Messi for that title in Spain. And with Raul still around, he will not even be the numero uno star at Real Madrid. Alex Ferguson always learns from his defeats and will do everything possible to ensure that Ronaldo and United are not humiliated like this again. There is a very good case for him to stay back at Old Trafford

A depressing night for United

United have been embarrassed in Europe before, most recently by AC Milan in the second leg of the2007 semi-final. But this was worse. This was the biggest stage of them all – the final between two champion sides – two sides who take pride in playing attacking football of the highest quality. Other than losing the title of European Champions, United were also embarrassingly rendered as toothless and impotent as they failed to even make a match out of it.

And as Red Devils, who have been feed on a diet of beautiful one touch passing, you couldn’t even hate Barcelona for displaying something that you have long admired. And that made the experience even more frustrating – you couldn’t even vent your disappointment at your opponent. Hats off to Barcelona for having managed to do that

What were United missing?

Last year, I did an analysis of United’s European defeats and they showed some common traits, most notably an absence of mid-field toughness and lack of leadership on the pitch. The currently injured Owen Hargreaves had been signed to give steel to the mid-field and protect the back four. Anderson has been a suitable replacement on most occasions but on this night his inexperience clearly showed. As for their leader, Rio Ferdinand, he wasn’t even a patch on the likes of Roy Keane and Gary Neville.

And finally

The defeat takes nothing away from the fact that United had another fantastic European campaign with some memorable wins and have the side to be back in many more finals. Alex Ferguson has built a wonderful side which on most nights can compete with any side in Europe. Thanks to Fergie and his men for giving us another season full of great European nights.

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Boring to be at the same club for too long

After compiling a team of footballers who have spent their entire professional career at one club, we are now back with a side of exact opposites – players who can’t hang onto one club for too long and keep moving from club to club every now and then.

Unlike last time we will restrict this eleven to players whose major playing career happened post 1990. This way we will be able to identify the wanderlusts who managed to be on the move, long before the Bosman ruling gave them the freedom to move as and when they liked.

The qualification cut-off for this list is having atleast a 6 club career including loan spells. This list is far bigger than the list of one-club players and hence we will include a reserve for each position as well.

Here we go

Have contributed 8 players to this list

Forwards

Ronaldo (Cruzeiro, PSV Eindhoven, Barcelona, Internazionale, Real Madrid, Milan, Corinthians) – Fans of any club hate a player who switches loyalties to join a bitter derby rival. There is a select group of players who have done this. But having played for two sets of bitter rivals, Ronaldo belongs to an extremely exclusive list. Leaving Barcelona even before the season got over and ditching Inter immediately after recovering from a two year injury (Inter paid his wages and medical bills during this time) are some of the not-so-proud highlights of his career. I wouldn’t bet against him adding to his list of 7 clubs by the time he is done with his career.

Christian Vieri (Prato,Torino,Pisa, Ravenna, Venezia, Atalanta, Juventus, Atlético Madrid, Lazio, Internazionale, Milan,Monaco,Atalanta,Fiorentina, Atalanta) – Don’t know anyone who can beat the 15 club resume of Bobo Vieri. It’s interesting to see that his strike partner in this eleven, Ronaldo, was also his cohort at Inter Milan – a club which has one of the highest rates of player turn-over. He is currently without a club and was paid by the goal at his last stop at Atalanta. He isn’t done moving though. Reports abound of an alleged move to LA Galaxy.

Reserve

Nicolas Anelka (Paris Saint-Germain,Arsenal,Real Madrid,Paris Saint-Germain,Liverpool (loan),Manchester City,Fenerbahçe,Bolton Wanderers,Chelsea) – nicknamed ‘the Sulk’ for good reason, he can be relied upon to put in a transfer request the moment something goes against his wishes. Once the most sought after striker in Europe, he has also had to endure the lows of Istanbul and Bolton, many thanks to his grumpy temperament. But he is also a gifted goal-scorer and big clubs keep coming back for him.

Midfielders

Rivaldo (Santa Cruz,Mogi Mirim,Corinthians,Palmeiras,Deportivo La Coruña, Barcelona, Milan, Cruzeiro, Olympiacos, AEK Athens, Bunyodkor) – 11 clubs old, Rivaldo seems to be on a mission – to continue playing for as long as he can, for any club which is willing to take a chance with him. He is surely the only FIFA World Player of the Year who will play in the Uzbek League. Always keen to be the centre of attention and of the attack, he will have to continue to move to lesser clubs as his physical powers wane. Maybe, he will end up leading the Mohun Bagan attack in India at the age of 50.

Juan Veron (Estudiantes, Boca Juniors, Sampdoria, Parma, Lazio, Manchester United, Chelsea, Internazionale (loan), Estudiantes) – His is a story of two halves. In the first part he was outstanding; raising his stock and market value at every stop. His peak came when he lead Lazio to the Serie A title and then moved to Man United in what was then the most expensive transfer in British football. In the second part of his career, he was far less successful and his transfers involved much smaller amounts of money.

Paul Ince (West Ham United, Manchester United,Internazionale,Liverpool,Middlesbrough,Wolverhampton Wanderers, Swindon Town, Macclesfield) – He started at West Ham, a club he supported as a boy, and could have had a long stint with them but unfortunately the club got relegated. He then became a star at Man United, but in spite of being a crowd favourite, couldn’t last long enough to become an Old Trafford legend thanks to a stormy relationship with Alex Ferguson. Also one of the few players to play for both United and hated rivals Liverpool

Edgar Davids (Ajax, Milan, Juventus, FC Barcelona (loan), Internazionale, Hotspur, Ajax) – A product of the Ajax youth system, he was part of their brilliant sides in the mid 90’s. Sadly Ajax didn’t have the money to hold on to their talented young players and like many others before and after him, Davids moved to a bigger and richer European giant. As for his other moves, they were often caused by an outspoken temperament and once by a failed drugs test.

Diego Simeone (Vélez Sársfield, Pisa, Sevilla, Atlético Madrid, Internazionale, Lazio, Atlético Madrid, Racing Club) – His is a very surprising case. He is one of the most durable and consistent footballers of all time – A very low-key player who made a living out of doing the simple things well. He was by no means the kind of player clubs chase with big transfer fees or the disgruntled misfit who finds trouble everywhere. Therefore, an 8 club career is begging for inclusion.

Reserve

Denilson (São Paulo FC, Real Betis, Flamengo (loan), Bordeaux, Al-Nasr, FC Dallas, Palmeiras, Itumbiara) – His dazzling dribbling skills have left many an observer blinded. Many have been besotted enough to sign him for a fortune, like Real Betis did for a world record transfer fee in 1998. But soon they realize that he is more a circus artist and less a footballer, incapable of making meaningful contributions to the teams cause. That coupled with his high wages have often made him a liability. But someone keeps falling for his bag of tricks. If the rumoured move to Perth Glory goes through, he will become one of the few players to play in 5 continents.

Never mess with the manager

Defenders

Juan Pablo Sorin (Argentinos Juniors, Juventus, River Plate, Cruzeiro, Lazio, Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain, Cruzeiro, Villarreal, Hamburger, Cruzeiro) – Sorin has played in Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Italy, France, and Germany. Had he played for a premiership side, and he has had opportunities to do so, then he would have had the unique distinction of having played in all the top leagues of the world. But he is just 33 and we can’t rule out another move from South America to Europe, the defender having done that 3 times previously. The maximum number of games that he’s played for a single club is 78 for River Plate.

Christian Panucci (Genoa, Milan, Real Madrid, Internazionale, Chelsea (loan), Monaco (loan), Roma) – After being on the move for most of his career, Panucci has kind of settled down at Roma, spending almost 8 years at the club. Or so it seemed, till a selection tiff with the manager led to Panucci announcing his decision to leave the club. While no buyer was found in the January 2009 transfer window, things could be a lot different once his contract expires in June 2009. An eighth club look well on the cards.

Jaap Stam (FC Zwolle, Cambuur Leeuwarden, Willem II, PSV Eindhoven, Manchester United, Lazio, Milan, Ajax) – When he moved to United, he became the most expensive defender in history. He soon became the defensive cornerstone of a side which won trophies galore. Sadly, thanks to an ill-advised and ill-timed tell-all autobiography, Stam incurred the wrath of Alex Ferguson and was sold to Lazio, cutting short what could have been a long rewarding career at Old Trafford. He never quite enjoyed the same kind of success after that, adding 3 more clubs to his resume before retiring in 2007.

Laurent Blanc (Montpellier, Napoli, Nîmes, Saint Etienne, Auxerre, Barcelona, Marseille, Internazionale, Manchester United) – Guess who was signed as a quick replacement when Ferguson let go of Stam in the middle of the season. The answer is Laurent Blanc and the fact that he was ready and available for a middle of the season move, kind of tells the story of the player’s career. After an 8 year stint at his first club, he never settled anywhere, playing for 8 clubs in 12 seasons. And mostly these moves were not caused by lack of success or a failure to adapt. He just found new suitors all the time and was always willing to accept their offers. Case in point being Guy Roux at Auxerre, Johan Cryuff at Barcelona and Rolland Courbis at Marseille.

Reserve

Dan Petrescu (Steaua Bucureşti, FC Olt Scorniceşti (loan), Foggia, Genoa, Sheffield Wednesday, Chelsea, Bradford City, Southampton, FC Naţional)- Had a successful 5 year stint with Chelsea and is still loved by the fans who remember him as one of the best players in the club’s history. Unfortunately for both parties, the player fell out with manager Gianluca Vialli and had no option but to leave the club. Other than that and his time with his first club Steaua, Petrescu’s career has been a litany of one season stints.

Goalkeeper

Fabien Barthez (Toulouse, Olympique Marseille, Monaco, Manchester United, Olympique Marseille, Nantes) – Generally goalkeepers are not given to a lot of movement, especially the good ones. A former ‘Worlds Best Goalkeeper of the Year’, Fabien Barthez is an exception to that rule. One of the many players on this list who was let go by Alex Ferguson. However, in his case it was purely because of a propensity for committing major blunders. His unpredictable behavior also contributed to a few moves.

Reserve

Kasey Keller ( Portland Timbers, Millwall,Leicester City, Rayo Vallecano, Tottenham Hotspur, Southampton (loan), Borussia Mönchengladbach, Fulham , Seattle Sounders FC )- His has been a case of being good but not very good. He has almost always failed to establish himself as the club’s long-term first- choice goalkeeper – Except when playing for a lowly one like Millwall which let him go when they got relegated. Often has been stuck as a back up and clubs have frequently not extended or renewed his contract.

United's contingent of life time employees

One club men – football players who spend their entire professional careers with one club are an extremely rare breed.

There are a number of reasons which cause players to change clubs. A lot of younger players start out at small clubs and move to bigger clubs which are more befitting of their talent. Similarly, many older players move to lesser clubs to prolong their careers as their physical prowess starts to ebb away. Players have ambitions to play in different leagues and at different clubs, often leading to movement. Sometimes a player just doesn’t get along with the manager or doesn’t fit well in the playing system.

The Bosman ruling of 1995 opened the flood gates to free movement of players. Clubs could no longer hold onto players against their will. They were literally free to go wherever and whenever they wanted. This led to a quantum jump in player activity. And therefore, a one club man became an even rarer species in the post-Bosman era.

For a player to spend his entire career at one club, a number of things must fall in place. He must start out at a club which is just right for his level of talent. His development must be commensurate with the expectations of his club and not more or less than that. As his physical powers wane, he must add new dimensions to his game to be able to hold his own at the club. He must continue to be in the good books of successive managers and always be part of the clubs long term and short term plans. And finally, the club should have enough success to match his personal ambitions.

If even of these things don’t happen, then a move is inevitable.

It happened when Arsenal legend Thierry Henry and Liverpool great Michael Owen moved to greener pastures because their clubs weren’t successful enough. It happened when one of Fergie’s fledglings – David Beckham fell out with his manager. It happened when life-long Barcelona supporter and loyalist, Pep Guardiola’s powers diminished and he wasn’t good enough for the Catalans. It happened when Leeds United were relegated and club legend Alan Smith had to mov

There are a lucky few who have managed to beat the odds and spend their entire playing careers at a single club. Today we will celebrate them by picking an all-star eleven made up entirely of such players. This list will be limited to players who played the game after the Bosman ruling; atleast the majority of their career happened after 1995. It will be a traditional 4-4-2 formation.

Here we go. A few of these players are still playing and might not be members of this exclusive club by the time they are done with their playing days. We are only considering their careers in the senior team for this exercise.

A lifetime at Real Madrid

Goalkeeper

Iker Casillas (Real Madrid) – Saint Iker is easily one of the best goalies of his generation. Destined for greatness at the most successful club in the world, he first made the playing eleven at 17. Has a buy-out clause of 128 million pounds and reportedly turned down an offer of 11 million pounds per season from Man City. Has won 2 Champions League and 4 Primera Liga titles with Real. He could have had serious competition from Gianluigi Buffon but the Italian was lured by a 52 million euro transfer fee- the biggest ever for a goalkeeper.

Defence

Paulo Maldini (AC Milan) – One of the all time great left backs has been part of the Milan family forever. His father Cesare also excelled at Milan and Paulo’s son Christian is already part of the club’s youth side. Debuted at 16 and is going strong at 40 – don’t think anyone has spent 24 years as a player at any club in the world. His haul of 5 Champions League and 7 Serie A titles is also unmatched. Will surely continue his association with Milan long after his playing days are over. He is surely the mascot of this ‘one club’ fraternity.

Jamie Carragher (Liverpool) – A Merseysider, he rose through the Liverpool youth ranks with Michael Owen. But while Owen was making the headlines at senior level and getting frustrated at Liverpool’s lack of success, Carragher was finding life difficult as an unsettled utility man. He finally established himself in defence and played a stellar role as Liverpool re-established themselves as European heavyweights. With his best form coinciding with club success, he was never a dissatisfied want-away like Owen. Winner of one Champions League title.

Carlos Puyol (Barcelona) – Barca is the pride of Catalonia and playing for the club is the highest honour for a Catalan. The challenge lies in being good enough to play for them regularly. Carlos Puyol has risen to the challenge with aplomb. He was part of a superbly talented group of young Spanish players at the club, but while most of the others fell by the wayside, he has continued to flourish as the leader at the back; at a club where chronic defensive problems result in a regular churn of defenders. Winner of 1 Champions League and 2 Primera Liga titles.

Gary Neville (Man United) – Joined United after leaving school and debuted in the senior side at 17. Part of the celebrated youth movement under Alex Ferguson. Much admired and respected at Old Trafford for his leadership and fighting spirit; qualities which have become increasingly relevant as his plying skills have diminished. That and a willingness to accept a reduced role, rather than trying for regular first team football elsewhere, have meant that he will wind up his playing career with United. Winner of 7 Premier League and 2 Champions League titles.

Midfield

Ryan Giggs (Man United) – United’s most capped player has been with them for 22 years now and looks good for many more. This has come thanks to his amazing transformation from a dashing left winger to a mature playmaker. While his past was all speed and breathtaking skill, his present is all guile and intelligence. Thanks to that he has continued to be a valuable squad player. Sir Alex is keen on holding on to him and uses him quite judiciously. A member of Fergie’s fledglings, he has been part of everything that United have won under the Scot – 10 Premier league titles, 3 FA Cups and 2 Champions League titles.

Paul Scholes (Man United) –Grew up as a supporter of Oldham Athletic but has been at United throughout his youth and senior career. His is another story of a player changing and flourishing in new roles as his career progressed. Once a striker, he has made a name for himself as a driving force in United’s midfield. Continues to be a vital member of United’s squad, especially on European nights when Fergie can still count on his big game temperament. He is another player whose career will be extended thanks to Fergie’s intelligent use of him. Winner of 8 Premier League and 2 Champions League titles.

Xavi Hernandez (Barcelona) – Another fiercely proud Catalan who joined the club’s youth side in 1991 at age 11 and is already contracted to play for them till 2014. His rise as the home-grown lynchpin of Barca’s midfield is especially creditable considering the club has largely relied on foreign talent in the attacking department. Largely under-rated thanks to the presence of a galaxy of stars at the Nou Camp, he announced himself to the world at Euro 2008 where he was voted best player. Barca have always known his worth and have tied him down for good with a massive contract. Winner of 4 Primera Liga and 1 Champions League title.

Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) – He almost followed Michael Owen out of Liverpool after a frustrating Trophy less season in 2003-04. But luckily for him, for new manager Rafa Benitez and for Liverpool Football Club, he decided to stay. Istanbul happened in 2005 and in his own words; Steven Gerrard couldn’t leave the club after a night like that. The player has since become a legend at the Kop and few players can dream of achieving the status he enjoys at the club. A long overdue league title is also within touching distance and once Liverpool win that, Steven Gerrard can have the key to the entire red half of Merseyside. Winner of 1 Champions League title.

Forwards

Raul Gonzalez (Real Madrid) – A cult hero at the club, who can continue to play for Real Madrid for as long as he desires. Holds almost all the goal scoring records for the club and continues to be their leading striker at age 31 with 24 goals in the 2008-09 campaign. Has been their golden boy from the time he became their youngest debutant at age 17. The ironic part is that he started his youth career at bitter rivals Atletico and had to move to Real because the youth system was closed down by President Jesus Gil. If not for Mr Gil’s short-sightedness, Raul Gonzalez would have made this list as an Atletico player. Winner of 6 Primera Liga and 3 Champions League titles.

Francesco Totti (Roma) – A symbol of the club who was probably born to play for Roma. He was born in Rome and he and his family have been lifelong Roma supporters. His mother refused a lucrative contract from AC Milan when he was a teenager and Totti first played for the Roma senior side at 16 and became captain at 20. His trophy collection is the most meagre of all the players on this list and he could have easily moved to bigger clubs to win more titles but the option of leaving Roma is one that Totti has never considered. Will probably end up as the greatest Roma player of all time. Winner of 1 Serie A title.

We will be back shortly with a team of polar opposites – players who can’t seem to stay at one place for too long.

The batsman in the trophy has the wrong grip - compare his with Dravid's

If you look at the batsman in the IPL trophy, he looks like a right handed player playing a glorious cover drive. He is looking at the ball racing to the boundary on the off side. The semi-circle in front of him shows that arc in which the bat has swung. Now check out the grip of the batsman. The left hand is at the bottom of the handle and closer to the blade. That is how a left hander grips the bat, not a right hander. For a righty, the right hand is at the bottom of the handle. Check out Rahul Dravid’s grip as he is playing the cover drive.

Anyone who has played any level of cricket in life should be able to spot the error.

I am surprised that such a glaring mistake was made in crafting such a high-profile trophy. I am even more surprised that none of the people involved in the managing committee of the IPL noticed it. Or if they did, they probably decided to ignore it.

The commentators also seem to be turning a blind eye towards it. They talk about a batsman’s feet, hand and head position all the time and surely know the difference between a right-handed and a left- handed grip. They wax lyrical about the piece of fine art that is the IPL trophy every time it’s shown on TV but never seem to notice the abnormality of the batsman’s grip.

The error is not such a big deal. Such imperfections quite often end up enhancing the uniqueness and the value of rare objects. Therefore there should be no harm in acknowledging it.

But sadly, everyone is so busy in trying to prove that everything in the IPL is picture perfect, that they fail to notice or acknowledge this distinctive imperfection.

Sometime in the 1980’s; when I’m not sure I could even spell ‘Franchise’ let alone understand what it meant, I first heard of the Harlem Globetrotters. I was totally fascinated by the name. They couldn’t have been more aptly named- they were ‘globetrotting’ as they went all over the world playing exhibition games. Later, the emergence of Michael Jordan as a global superstar forced ‘The Sport Star’ and some Indian newspapers to occasionally mention the NBA (National Basketball Association), adding more such names to my slowly expanding brain. Over the years, I have undergone an online education in the entire ‘franchisee’ concept and learnt of many other equally fascinating team names.

A little analyses of the popular team names (and also the unpopular ones) gives some wonderful insights into the dos and do not’s of the naming process. Fundamentally, there are four key things to take care of

• The name of the team should be unique and memorable enough – so that the team can easily be identified by it. There should be no need to provide the name of the city or the league in which they play. So when you mention the Lakers, you don’t have to add that they are the team from LA which plays in the NBA. You should be like that guy in class who can be identified by his surname only and doesn’t have to give out his full name.
• The name of the team should mean something for the franchise. It could pay homage to something important from the city or honour someone attached with the franchise. Or simply capture the spirit or character of the team. The Dallas Cowboys are from Texas – home of the cowboy. The Georgia Bulldogs truly reflect the ‘bulldog‘spirit of their football team – unflinching in any kind of distress situation.
• The name of the team should never be just a glorified adjective. Like victor or champion or studs etc etc. And the additional superlative or comparative is also a strict no-no.
• Lastly, never copy a team name, even if it’s a team from another league or even if you have slightly modified the name.

Having become an amateur ‘sports team namologist’ of some kind, the coming of professional leagues in India, therefore, was a godsend for me. So far we’ve had a seven team PHL (Professional Hockey League), a six team ICL (Indian Cricket League) and an eight team IPL (Indian Professional League), where 4 teams are yet to be named at the time of writing. So here’s my two bit of ‘namology gyan’ on what’s transpired so far.

First the PHL

Sher-E-Jalandhar – an absolute smasher. The old Urdu-style name makes it even more memorable

Chennai Veerans – unique, with homage paid to the historical Tamil fighters.

Maratha Warriors – similar to the Chennai style and quite apt

Orissa Steelers – The Pittsburgh Steelers are in the heart of America’s steel industry and Orissa has the same status in India

Bangalore Hi-Fliers – the first bad one in the PHL. Falls in the glorified adjective category.

Hyderabad Sultans – a ‘historical’ mistake. Hyderabad had Nizams and not Sultans.

Chandigarh Dynamos – this one is well thought of. Simultaneously reminds us of the Punjabi farmer (the one who drives a tractor) and the truck driver – the hard-working image of a prosperous state.

Overall Verdict – Very good job and I hope the people in-charge show similar wisdom on the more important matters to make the PHL an even bigger success.

Now the ICL

Chandigarh Lions – this one’s fine not great. The people of Punjab are lion-hearted in whatever they do. But doesn’t have the same impact as the word ‘Sher’

Kolkata Tigers – Being the home of the Royal Bengal tiger, the name is suitable but not unique enough as there are tigers in every second state of India. Considering the penchant for lions and tigers, the there should have been a separate auction for the two names.

Hyderabad Heroes – What are they paying homage to? The movie ‘heroes’ of the thriving Telugu
Film industry. Serious paucity of thought from Hyderabad.

Mumbai Champs – The irony is striking. The team calls itself the champs and finishes rock-bottom. So much for egg on your face.

Delhi Jets – What are they depicting? Fighter jets, jets of water, Jet Airways. I have no clue.

Chennai Superstars – Are they trying to out-do the ‘heroes’ of Hyderabad? Our film industry is bigger than yours and our actors are bigger stars.

Overall Verdict – The names are as bad as the ground on which the ICL was played. This league needs a lot of help.

Finally the IPL

Bangalore Royal Challengers – Dr Mallaya wanted an association with one of his liquor brands. But tell me in god’s name, what is a Royal Challenger? Sounds a little too long as well.

Chennai Super Kings – If this team wins the IPL, we can make a case for the inclusion of the word ‘Super Kings’ in the Oxford dictionary. That’s because I don’t think such a word exists.

Delhi Daredevils – Has a nice ring to it but can’t see the connection. Just for their information, there‘s a team called the Washington Senators in the US.

Rajasthan Royals – This one is perfect. Think of simple things folks. Don’t you know your city well enough?

As for the remaining four, here’s a simple suggestion for the franchisee owners.

Naming a new team is a great marketing and PR opportunity. You can make a little money as well. Organize a simple competition to give the people of the city a chance to name their local team. There is enough wisdom and local knowledge in every city to come up with a great name. Additionally, involving the populace will make the franchise popular among the masses and people will start identifying with the team.

Here are the names I could come up with. I am sure you guys can do better.

Kolkata – The Kolkata Liberators. In honour of Bengal’s most well-loved son, Subhash Chandra Bose.

Hyderabad – The Hyderabad Nizams. The erstwhile rulers of Hyderabad.

Mohali – The Mohali Nihangs. A Nihang is a Sikh religious warrior.

Mumbai – The Mumbai Bulls. Celebrating the ‘Bull Run’ in the financial capital of India.

This article was written last year before the IPL teams from  Kolkata, Hyderabad, Mohali and Mumbai had been named. It was originally published in iSport.in

In random order.

Disclaimer: please do not take offense. This is strictly in jest

Why the Knight Riders want to keep losing?

Because SRK gives expensive watches to those who lose (remember KBC)

Why the Knight Riders don’t want to win?

So that SRK doesn’t come back

Cricket based reality show that will never be made…

Kya Aap Knight Riders Se Accha Khelte Hain

What SRK never told Buchanan when the Australian was preaching his new theories on cricket?

Seedhi Baat Baaki Sab Bakwaas. Like he tells the fat guy all the time in the Sprite ad

Why is John Buchanan missing Ricky Ponting?

Because he could have had one more captain in the side

What does Buchanan do when SRK calls him to discuss the team’s performance?

Hello, Hello, Hello…like the Tata Indicom Ad

What a dropped catch in the IPL will soon be branded as?

Another ITC Cigarettes moment of stress – coz somewhere a disgusted SRK is lighting another one

Why Brendon McCullum was made captain of the Knight Riders?

Because as a tradition the worst fielder in the side is made captain of the Knight Riders

When do you know that things are wrong with the Universe?

When Ajit Agarkar stops trying to become India’s answer to Malcolm Marshall and bowls intelligently and within his limits for two consecutive games.

Why are the Knight Riders missing so many catches?

Because they have Two many fielders (McCullum and Saha) who can’t catch without their gloves on

Why Nokia has been asked to stop their ‘Sab Jeetenge’ meaning ‘everyone will win’ ad?

Because the ad is too ironic – everyone is winning other than the team featured in the ad (the Knight Riders)

What could happen if 6,00,000 Dollar man Mashrafe Mortaza doesn’t play a single game?

That money would qualify as a charitable donation to an under-developed nation (Bangladesh) and SRK would be entitled to tax benefits

Why is co-owner and cement Baron Jay Mehta heaving a sigh of relief?

For not coming up with ‘our team is as strong and reliable as our cement’ ads.

Best Batsman – Will go to the batsman with the best combination of total runs, batting average, strike rate and number of key innings.

Current Favourites – Mathew Hayden, Tillekratne Dilshan, Suresh Raina, Sachin Tendulkar and Adam Gilchrist

Best Bowler – Will go to the bowler with the best combination of total wickets, bowling economy, strike rate and number of key bowling performances.

Current Favourites – Lasith Malinga, RP Singh, Pragyan Ojha, Yusuf Abdulla and Anil Kumble

Best Player – At the end of the tournament if the owners had a chance to build their team from scratch again, then which player would most of them want to pick first.

Current Favourites – Yusuf Pathan, Mathew Hayden, Tillekratne Dilshan, Suresh Raina and Adam Gilchrist

Best Indian Player – ‘Best Player’ from the Indian lot

Current Favourites – Yusuf Pathan, Suresh Raina, Irfan Pathan, Sachin Tendulkar and RP Singh

Best Foreign Player – ‘Best Player’ from the International lot

Current Favourites – Mathew Hayden, Tillekratne Dilshan, Adam Gilchrist, Shane Warne and Lasith Malinga

Best Indian Domestic Player- ‘Best Player’ from the lot who have never played international cricket

Current Favourites – Abhishek Nayar, Abhishek Raut, Sudeep Tyagi, T Suman and Mithun Manhas

Most Improved Player from the last IPL – Will go to the player who has made the biggest jump from last year’s edition. Qualification criteria – atleast 7 games played in the 2008 IPL and atleast 7 this time as well.

Current Favourites – AB De Villiers, Dinesh Karthik, Herschelle Gibbs and Jacques Kallis

Best Reserve Player – Will go to the best squad player  – ‘Best Player’ from among the lot who will end up playing less than 7 games. Players who were not even in the squad for atleast 7 games will not qualify.

Current Favourites – David Warner and Dillon Du Preez. The likes of Glenn McGrath and Makhaya Ntini could feature in this category.

Read all the IPL Daily Doses so far

At the end of the day’s action, a mere two points separate the top team from the seventh placed side. And if that doesn’t convince you that the contest for the semi-final places in the 2009 IPL is going to go down to the wire, check out the League table at the same stage during the inaugural season. The top 4 sides had already distanced themselves from the rest of the pack, by a margin so huge, that even Mumbai’s stunning winning streak couldn’t get them into the semis.

As compared to that, even the most battle hardened gambler would refrain from picking out the 4 semi-finalists based on the current points table.

Just when the likes of Delhi, Hyderabad and Mohali were looking to put some distance on the chasing pack; Rajasthan, Chennai and Bangalore have bounced right back into the fray. While Chennai were too good a side to be denied for long, Bangalore and Rajasthan have shuffled things around to find the winning touch.

The other heartening thing about the league this year has been the closeness of the games. Thanks to the conditions, which have evened things out between the sides and also to the teams being better equipped than last time in terms of squad composition, few matches have turned out to be one-sided. Most games have been keenly contested well into the last five overs of the match.

That brings us back to what Bangalore and Rajasthan have done. They have saved their best players for the last critical stretch – the final 5 overs. By best, we don’t mean just by ability but also by the capacity to handle pressure. And if matches continue to be so closely fought out, the race for the semis will come down to a contest of how well teams do in the final stages of their matches. Teams who have finishers – the guys who can close out games; both in the batting and bowling department will have a better chance to prevail.

Teams will have their fair share of easy wins, but there isn’t a single side which can notch up enough lop sided victories to stroll into the last four. They will have to win the humdingers as well. And that will come from being able to give your best at the end. That is why Shane Warne is a genius captain and his use of Yusuf Pathan as a finisher is a master stroke. Apart from the strength in his shoulders to clear boundaries at will, Yusuf also has ice in his veins to power his side ahead in the home stretch.

Delhi’s top- heavy order crumbled after being well in control till the 15th over. You can’t blame the likes of Manhas, Sangwan and Bhatia for never having faced anything quite like Murali in their lives. The presence of a Farvez Maharoof would have given them a fighting chance at the end.

Having already picked my top 4 before the tournament began; I am not going to change it mid-way. I am just hoping that these teams are better prepared (read have enough finishers) to win an adequate number of these 5 over deciders.

Does Dhoni need to bother about Karthik’s form?

Dinesh Karthik has made a huge improvement over 2008 with two superb innings in the limited opportunities that he has got. On the other hand, MS Dhoni’s form has nose-dived to dismal levels. If things continue in the same vein, would the national selectors’ atleast give Karthik’s case some consideration? After all there can be no better selection trials for the national side than the IPL – a player playing against world-class opponents in high stakes games and there are enough games to identify whether he is a flash in the pan or a consistent performer. Or is MS Dhoni already guaranteed a place, irrespective of whatever happens in the IPL, on the basis of his leadership skills alone, a la Mike Brearley.

The Commentators Competition

Last year, Arun Lal had won the contest between commentators; for singing the highest praise of Lalit Modi as a cricket visionary. This year, the contest is to wax eloquent about the super success of the IPL in South Africa. Contestants need to harp about the electric atmosphere, the jam packed crowds and anything else that shows that the locals can’t have enough of the IPL. The early leader seems to be Ravi Shastri but there is still a long way and lots of full-house crowds to go.

Dude of the Day – Jointly goes to Shadab Jakati and Abhishek Raut for making a difference at the end

Dud of the Day – The trio of Morkel, Oram and Dhoni for making a mess of a tailor made opportunity for them

Read all the IPL Daily Doses so far

First check out the wish list that the CommonFan had before the 2008-09 Season began

Now read on

McGrady's team has survived. He can lie in his grave alone

The Monkey on McGrady’s back just became a Gorilla

At the beginning of the season, I had hoped that he breaks his first –round playoff hoodoo. Now the Rockets have convincingly moved into round two without McGrady. That means the so-called superstar is still stuck with the unenviable record and worse it proves that it wasn’t the support cast which held McGrady from getting into the second round, rather it was T-Mac who was holding his team mates back. I would have felt sad and empathized with the Mc Grady I knew before the season began. But for the player who played horribly and then selfishly announced his season –ending injury and operation to scuttle the Rockets’ plans to trade him, I have no love. I am please for the team though who best embody what a ‘team’ can do.

The Pistons as a measure of LeBron’s growth.

In 2006, a savvy Detroit side came back from 2-3 down to win the series against an inexperienced James who had little help. In 2007, LeBron’s genius separated the two sides in another exciting series. In 2009, James and a much improved supporting cast blew the Pistons off the court four zip. The dipping competitiveness of the series clearly reflects one team’s ascendancy and the other’s decline. The emergence of Mo Williams as a trusted sidekick was another pre-season wish that was granted to me.

Serendipity for Mark Cuban

I love this guy’s intensity and was hoping for a miracle for him in 2009. And guess what, it seems the gods love him too. The Mavs were favourites to miss the play-offs; instead they grabbed the sixth seed and then knocked out the Spurs 4-1 in one of the most unexpected results in the play-offs. The Suns have spent all these years breaking down and then re-building their side in a bid to beat the Spurs. They could have learnt a little from the Mavs who beat Duncan and Co for the second time in two meetings.

I am also thrilled to bits that the dynasty of the Spurs and the Pistons is finally coming to an end. They have been great but their style bores me and I am excited about the emergence of some young exciting sides.

Like the Hawks who are for real

I was hoping for a return to good old madness for the Hawks. Instead they have home –court in round one and Josh Childress wants to return home. They still have some issues like bench strength but look like a sure shot playoff contender for years to come.

Joe Johnson is turning a franchise around while his former team mates are at home watching

This is all thanks to Joe Johnson

When Joe Johnson took the big contract and left the mighty Suns for the dysfunctional Hawks, it was hailed as a disastrous move for a young star in the making. Some years on, the Suns have missed the play-offs and are on a path to nowhere while the Hawks have ridden Joe Johnson to become a top 4 side in the East. Joe Johnson will have his number retired in Atlanta and will be long remembered as the cornerstone of a team which finally brought some respect to a franchise and respite to a city hungry for sporting success. Wouldn’t you take that any day of the week over being the fourth option on the Suns side behind a couple of sulking team mates and making less money as well?

Talking of the Hawks, it is also easy to see

That the Eastern Conference is far more exciting than the West

So much for a big 3 in the East and an ultra-competitive top 9 in the West. The West gave us 4 lop-sided first round encounters, while the East has given us three compelling series, including one for the ages.

And that happened

Because the Bulls became the Bulls again

Not the Michael Jordan Bulls but more like the best of the Scott Skiles’ Bulls. The energy and the hustle are infectious. You just cannot not fall in love with them. And the major reason why they replaced the Portland Trail Blazers as my favourite young team is

We have been waiting for Noah to exult like this in the NBA

Because we are finally getting to see the Joakim Noah that we have been waiting for

Joakim Noah was the reason I followed the Gators as they won two NCAA titles. He was in the discussion for the number one draft pick after the first one but a statistically mediocre second season dropped his draft stock. He didn’t seem to care as long as he won the title. While Durant and Oden captured headlines for different reasons in the NBA, I had to rely on David Thorpe’s Rookie report to follow the French- Dutch-Algerian American’s progress. Thorpe always emphasized Noah’s intangibles – the quickness, the fearlessness, the quality passing for a big man, the hustle and the energy. With little playing time, we hadn’t seen much of these qualities from him in the league. Finally, and god knows why, Vinny Del Negro unleashed Joakim Noah full throttle and the results are there for everyone to see.

Thanks to that and to Greg Oden’s disastrous two seasons with the Trail Blazers, and Kevin Pritchard is looking less impressive as a GM. Would he take Noah or Durant if he had a chance to use that no 1 pick again.

As for his team, they were the only side that could have stopped the Lakers in the West. But on second thoughts even the Blazers wouldn’t have had a chance against Kobe’s team.

Because Bynum is back and the Lakers are complete again

I have been waiting to see what, the most loaded NBA side since the 1980’s Lakers and Celtics, can do in the playoffs. Bynum’s injury scuppered my aspirations last year and a repeat was on the cards when he got injured again this year. In his absence, Gasol and Odom have gotten better and now that he is back, I am giddy with the prospect of watching this juggernaut plough through the West.

Go Lakers

In the last IPL, the Australians were by far the most impressive of the foreign brigade. With most of them missing the early part of the 2009 IPL, there was a chance for players from other countries to make a bigger impression. Their cause was also helped by the absence of the Pakistani players. Let’s look at players from each country and see lot has made the most of this opportunity

South Africa

As the new hosts, players from South Africa were much sought after; also because most of them have all –round abilities. Herschelle Gibbs, AB De Villiers, Albie Morkel, Mark Boucher and Yusuf Abdulla have impressed so far while the likes of Dale Steyn, Graeme Smith, JP Duminy, Tyron Henderson and Jacques Kallis haven’t been so great.

Australia

Three oldies – Gilchrist, Hayden and Warne and a future Dutchman (Dirk Nannes) have kept the Australian flag flying high. The others players, most of whom aren’t Australian internationals – Rob Quiney, Brad Hodge and Moises Henriques have been disappointing.

Sri Lanka

Jayasuriya, Malinga, Dilshan, Murali and Sangakkara have all been outstanding while Mendis was good in one of the two games he played. The only player who hasn’t come to the party is Mahela Jayawardene.

West Indies

All the four West Indians in the 2009 IPL – Fidel Edwards, Dwayne Bravo, Dwayne Smith and Chris Gayle have been good signings for their sides.

England

While both the high-profile signings, Pietersen and Flintoff, have turned out to be damp squibs, the likes of Ravi Bopara and Dimitiri Mascarenhas have been good value for money.

New Zealand

The list of disappointments is long – Brendon McCullum, Jesse Ryder, Ross Taylor and Scott Styris. Daniel Vettori and Jacob Oram have been the saving grace.

Verdict so far

Things will change once the Australian big guns return. But as things stand today, it’s the Sri Lankans who are turning out to be the biggest match-winners from amongst the foreign contingent in the IPL.

Reversal of fortunes for the Chennai Super Kings

Last year the side had a perfect 4 out of 4 record in close games, till they lost the one in the final. A close game being one, where the winning side either won by less than 10 runs or chased down the target in the last over. This year the side has lost both such games.

Either they have run out of luck or have simply forgotten how to hold their nerve at the death

Whatever it is, it could well decide whether the Chennai side makes the semis or not

Change in Dhoni’s approach

Dhoni didn’t give a single over to Shadab Jakati who played the game as a specialist bowler. This comes after Game 1 where specialist spinner R Ashwin didn’t get a bowl. Last year, Dhoni showed amazing trust in his bowlers, playing most games with just 5 bowlers. This year, he is doing the exact opposite, packing more bowlers than are required.

Positives in defeat for the Chargers

The Hyderabad side got good contributions from Azhar Bilakhiya, Shoaib Ahmad and T Suman. This is a huge positive for a side which got next to nothing from its domestic players last year. They seem to have scouted well and the winning spirit seems to be rubbing off on everyone. Don’t think the bookies are cheering for them.

Delhi are learning the tricks of professional leagues fast

Last year, the super duo of Glenn McGrath and Mohd Asif opened the Daredevils’ bowling. This year they are going with the unsung pair of Dirk Nannes and Ashish Nehra and yet look the better for it. The Aussie-Dutchman was a bargain basement pick while Nehra came in exchange for Shikhar Dhawan. The Delhi side is surely learning the best practises when it comes to improving your side without spending crazy money. Is Mr. Vijay Mallya watching?

Dude of the Day – Suresh Raina. As if scoring 98 off 55 wasn’t enough in a match where the next best effort was 37 off 33, he picked up a wicket and took two catches as well. Dilshan gets an honourable mention for slowly establishing himself as the second coming of Michael Bevan.

Dud of the Day – The guy operating the scoreboard for denying Raina his century. Also the officials and commentators in the stadium for letting that happen. I don’t know if the officials realized the error as Raina was raising his bat to acknowledge the cheers but the commentators sure did and yet no one did anything about it.

Read all the IPL Daily Doses so far