A Common Fan’s Sports Diary

The Taliban has a problem with almost every activity which regular people enjoy, most notably sporting ones.

They are on an endless banning spree, condemning a new sport every now and then for being unholy and un-Islamic. And they come up with a reason every time for why the sport was branded as such.

Sometimes it’s because there is too much skin show in the sport. That makes every sport where the athlete has to wear shorts or vests as a readymade target for being banned by the Taliban.

The jihadi outfit also mandates every man to sport a beard which makes it virtually impossible for anyone to practise a sport which calls for a streamlined body to reduce air or water resistance. Therefore there is no future for speed related sports like swimming and running.

Now the extremely popular sport of cricket has also been added to the Taliban hit-list. They feel it’s too long and hence people waste too much time over it. They feel that the ban on cricket will free up a lot of time and the populace will be more productive. The longer duration of cricket also interferes with the regular Namaz as people are too engrossed in the action to take a religious break.

Where does that leave sports in the Taliban does ruled areas of Afghanistan and the areas deemed ungovernable by Pakistan?

Is there any sport that the Taliban cannot find fault in?

Or rather, a sport which serves their purpose of glorifying Islamic Jihad and rubbing America’s nose into the ground?

Looks like we do have something.

Why don’t they try baseball?

The players are as covered as a human being can possibly be. It doesn’t take a long time to finish and can be played in the rocky terrains of the areas they rule.

But wait, isn’t it supposed to be the national pastime of the United States – a country the Taliban loathes and hates.

Well, that is exactly why the Taliban should be supporting baseball.

Because the United States suck big time at international baseball – losing regularly to the likes of South Korea and Japan as well as tiny nations like Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic and Cuba. The national pastime is becoming an international embarrassment for the sports loving Americans.

Tiny Puerto Rico celebrate after thumping the mighty Americans

Is there a better way to motivate the jihadi fighters by showing them videos of players from smaller nations out-duelling the big daddy that is the USA at their own game, quite literally? And at the same time everyone is covered from head to toe and the action finishes just in time for the holy prayers.

Isn’t it similar to the way, another set of underdogs (the jihadis) are supposed to beat the Americans at their other favourite pastime – playing global policeman.

I guess we have a winner.

Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel have become the first Indians to sign a professional sports contract in America. They are now part of the MLB’s Pittsburg Pirates and if they progress well in the minor leagues, they could be pitching in the big leagues in around three years time. This is a normal process and timeline for new players and there is good reason to feel optimistic. They could possibly do for baseball in India what Yao Ming did for basketball and the NBA in China.

I hope I am rooting for the Pirates and not the Yankees in three years time

Until now Indian players have had decent success playing professional Cricket, Chess, Badminton and Hockey in Europe. We have also had a flop footballer (Baichung Bhutia) and a successful one (Mohd Salim). But this is our first entry into the Mecca of professional sports that is the USA.

Could this really lead to bigger things?

After all, in spite of the large number of Indians that live in the US, we haven’t had a single player of Indian origin in Major League baseball. I could possibly counter that by saying that we have only been exporting nerds and not the athletic types. Rinku and Dinesh are strongly built lads from the villages. Don’t think we have many NRI’s who are like them.

But haven’t we had a national baseball side for quite some time and doesn’t this team suck big time?

We have and the team does suck but we have been picking our national side from just a handful of players. And these players have had absolutely no exposure or quality coaching inputs. It’s almost akin to somebody learning cricket in Greenland.

And now for some optimism

The physical skills required for this game are very similar to cricket – and therefore we have the potential to do well at baseball, provided we can get enough exposure and coaching and practice. Rinku and Dinesh will get lots of that in Pittsburgh and if they are even moderately successful, more Indian players could join them.

Also remember that these guys were selected out of the 30,000 people who contested the reality show – “Million Dollar Arm”. This is a nation of more than 1 billion. There would be many more who are more talented at baseball than this pioneering duo. If we can just get more people to get inspired by this example and take up the sport, we could easily have more players in the MLB. Inspiration will come if Patel and Rinku are successful and make it big.

These newly-baptized ‘pitchers’ have more than just a baseball and their sporting futures in their hands

They have a ‘once in a generation’ opportunity to make baseball a popular sport in this country – to become the father of Indian Baseball.

Rinku and Dinesh

We (the few baseball loving Indians) are watching and praying for you