A Common Fan’s Sports Diary

Sometime in the 1980’s; when I’m not sure I could even spell ‘Franchise’ let alone understand what it meant, I first heard of the Harlem Globetrotters. I was totally fascinated by the name. They couldn’t have been more aptly named- they were ‘globetrotting’ as they went all over the world playing exhibition games. Later, the emergence of Michael Jordan as a global superstar forced ‘The Sport Star’ and some Indian newspapers to occasionally mention the NBA (National Basketball Association), adding more such names to my slowly expanding brain. Over the years, I have undergone an online education in the entire ‘franchisee’ concept and learnt of many other equally fascinating team names.

A little analyses of the popular team names (and also the unpopular ones) gives some wonderful insights into the dos and do not’s of the naming process. Fundamentally, there are four key things to take care of

• The name of the team should be unique and memorable enough – so that the team can easily be identified by it. There should be no need to provide the name of the city or the league in which they play. So when you mention the Lakers, you don’t have to add that they are the team from LA which plays in the NBA. You should be like that guy in class who can be identified by his surname only and doesn’t have to give out his full name.
• The name of the team should mean something for the franchise. It could pay homage to something important from the city or honour someone attached with the franchise. Or simply capture the spirit or character of the team. The Dallas Cowboys are from Texas – home of the cowboy. The Georgia Bulldogs truly reflect the ‘bulldog‘spirit of their football team – unflinching in any kind of distress situation.
• The name of the team should never be just a glorified adjective. Like victor or champion or studs etc etc. And the additional superlative or comparative is also a strict no-no.
• Lastly, never copy a team name, even if it’s a team from another league or even if you have slightly modified the name.

Having become an amateur ‘sports team namologist’ of some kind, the coming of professional leagues in India, therefore, was a godsend for me. So far we’ve had a seven team PHL (Professional Hockey League), a six team ICL (Indian Cricket League) and an eight team IPL (Indian Professional League), where 4 teams are yet to be named at the time of writing. So here’s my two bit of ‘namology gyan’ on what’s transpired so far.

First the PHL

Sher-E-Jalandhar – an absolute smasher. The old Urdu-style name makes it even more memorable

Chennai Veerans – unique, with homage paid to the historical Tamil fighters.

Maratha Warriors – similar to the Chennai style and quite apt

Orissa Steelers – The Pittsburgh Steelers are in the heart of America’s steel industry and Orissa has the same status in India

Bangalore Hi-Fliers – the first bad one in the PHL. Falls in the glorified adjective category.

Hyderabad Sultans – a ‘historical’ mistake. Hyderabad had Nizams and not Sultans.

Chandigarh Dynamos – this one is well thought of. Simultaneously reminds us of the Punjabi farmer (the one who drives a tractor) and the truck driver – the hard-working image of a prosperous state.

Overall Verdict – Very good job and I hope the people in-charge show similar wisdom on the more important matters to make the PHL an even bigger success.

Now the ICL

Chandigarh Lions – this one’s fine not great. The people of Punjab are lion-hearted in whatever they do. But doesn’t have the same impact as the word ‘Sher’

Kolkata Tigers – Being the home of the Royal Bengal tiger, the name is suitable but not unique enough as there are tigers in every second state of India. Considering the penchant for lions and tigers, the there should have been a separate auction for the two names.

Hyderabad Heroes – What are they paying homage to? The movie ‘heroes’ of the thriving Telugu
Film industry. Serious paucity of thought from Hyderabad.

Mumbai Champs – The irony is striking. The team calls itself the champs and finishes rock-bottom. So much for egg on your face.

Delhi Jets – What are they depicting? Fighter jets, jets of water, Jet Airways. I have no clue.

Chennai Superstars – Are they trying to out-do the ‘heroes’ of Hyderabad? Our film industry is bigger than yours and our actors are bigger stars.

Overall Verdict – The names are as bad as the ground on which the ICL was played. This league needs a lot of help.

Finally the IPL

Bangalore Royal Challengers – Dr Mallaya wanted an association with one of his liquor brands. But tell me in god’s name, what is a Royal Challenger? Sounds a little too long as well.

Chennai Super Kings – If this team wins the IPL, we can make a case for the inclusion of the word ‘Super Kings’ in the Oxford dictionary. That’s because I don’t think such a word exists.

Delhi Daredevils – Has a nice ring to it but can’t see the connection. Just for their information, there‘s a team called the Washington Senators in the US.

Rajasthan Royals – This one is perfect. Think of simple things folks. Don’t you know your city well enough?

As for the remaining four, here’s a simple suggestion for the franchisee owners.

Naming a new team is a great marketing and PR opportunity. You can make a little money as well. Organize a simple competition to give the people of the city a chance to name their local team. There is enough wisdom and local knowledge in every city to come up with a great name. Additionally, involving the populace will make the franchise popular among the masses and people will start identifying with the team.

Here are the names I could come up with. I am sure you guys can do better.

Kolkata – The Kolkata Liberators. In honour of Bengal’s most well-loved son, Subhash Chandra Bose.

Hyderabad – The Hyderabad Nizams. The erstwhile rulers of Hyderabad.

Mohali – The Mohali Nihangs. A Nihang is a Sikh religious warrior.

Mumbai – The Mumbai Bulls. Celebrating the ‘Bull Run’ in the financial capital of India.

This article was written last year before the IPL teams from  Kolkata, Hyderabad, Mohali and Mumbai had been named. It was originally published in iSport.in

India Today has come up with a list of the 10 biggest controversies in Indian sports. I agree with most of them but there are a few that we don’t find worthy of this list. I think somewhere there was a predisposition towards the controversies that had been well covered by the magazine. Never mind. We decided to come up with a list of 10 other important controversies from Indian sports, some of which were worthy of being in the first list itself.

Here goes in no particular order.

What gender did it bring more shame to?

The girl who was a guy

This was completely bizarre – so much so that it found a mention on ESPN’s US website. Santhi Sounderajan won a silver medal at the 2006 Doha Asian Games and then failed a gender test. She was found to be missing the sexual characteristics of a woman. The medal had to be returned and this incident brought us shame and disrepute. Things like this were common in the 1930’s and 40’s but there is excuse for something like this happening in today’s times. The government in the athlete’s home state of Tamil Nadu added to the controversy by refusing to recognize the verdict and felicitating the athlete in the same manner as the other medal-winners.

Kerry Packer revisited -The ICL controversy

This one has a strong case to be in the India Today list. Subhash Chandra emulated Kerry Packer by setting up his own cricket league after losing out on the broadcast rights, in spite of having the highest bid. The broadcast bidding is quite a controversy in itself. The BCCI wasn’t ready to play along –they banned the League and all its stakeholders and then upped the ante by starting a far bigger league of their own. Since then the BCCI and the Zee group have been at war and have sucked the entire cricket world into their dispute. The controversy looks like dragging on forever with both parties engaged in a war of attrition and there being no resolution to the matter in sight.

The monkey and the ugly Australians

This one surely had to be in the India Today list. It almost caused India to withdraw from the series and led to a public outcry against the Australian cricket team. The events leading up to it were truly inflammable – first the Aussies took gamesmanship to a new level and then rubbed salt into India’s wounds by accusing Harbhajan Singh of racism. It almost became a case of the white man’s word against the brown man’s. Insults were traded between the two sides and matters had almost come to a point of no return. Thankfully India was captained by an honourable man in Anil Kumble who got together with Ponting to iron out the issues between the two sides.

There is blood on their hands

The sportsman’s widow and her lover

Almost 20 years ago, one of India’s best badminton players, Syed Modi was shot dead by unknown assassins. His badminton playing wife, Amita, was rumoured to be having an extra-marital affair with noted politician and much married father of two children Sanjay Singh. A case was lodged against Sanjay for arranging  the killing but as it happens in our country, the well-connected politician, also a royal and a close friend of the Gandhi family, got away scot-free. A little later Sanjay divorced his first wife and married Amita. There are no witnesses and no legal proof – Just a simple matter of putting two and two together.

The cricketing god and his free chariot

Another one which India Today totally missed. India’s biggest cricket icon was gifted a Ferrari car by his sponsors FIAT on equalling Don Bradman’s record of 29 centuries. It was a 75 lakhs rupee gift but there was also the small matter of paying the customs duty of 1.15 crores. The controversy started after it was reported that the batting maestro had requested a custom duty waiver on the car despite getting it as a gift and not winning it as a prize in any tournament. That he was well capable of paying for it added to the steam and matters came to a boil when the Union government decide to oblige. There was a hue and a cry and Tendulkar’s demigod status took a hit. Finally FIAT decided to end the controversy by picking up the tab.

Indian hockey – of what happened after the Olympic failure

The qualification failure is already in the first list. But what happened after makes for a far bigger storm. The union sports minister, Mani Shankar Aiyer shed crocodile tears but failed to take any action citing the Olympic charter (which calls for autonomy of sports bodies). Thankfully, he was replaced by M.S Gill who showed more gumption by sacking the IHF chief. Then the IHF secretary was caught accepting a bribe on camera and he was also duly removed from his post. An ad hoc body was put in place but soon the power battle begun with the likes of Sahara’s JB Roy mobilizing the support of the state bodies. Ex- chief KPS Gill also refuses to let go and keeps sabotaging the activities of the ad-hoc body. And the former secretary is now flexing his muscles in his home state’s association by setting up a parallel body with the support of the district chiefs. This one also continues to rage on

All the good work undoes the Mary Kom episode

When the champion of rights was the perpetrator himself

Milkha Singh has always trodden on a moral high ground and never shies away from speaking his mind – mostly it has to do with the government’s apathy and disrespect towards non-cricketing sports and sportspersons. He caused a furore by refusing the Arjuna Award and makes the India today list based on that controversy. And then the same gentleman, in his capacity as the chairman of the Arjuna Awards selection committee, strikes of the name of female boxer MC Mary Kom from the Khel Ratna award list. His excuse – he didn’t know which sport she competed in. Where does that rate on the scale of hypocrisy? The World Champion boxer was hurt and aggrieved at the ‘Flying Sikh’s’ lack of respect and complete ignorance. For the record, she has 4 World Championship crowns, which is 4 more than what Milkha Singh has.

The over-age controversy

This controversy raises its ugly head every time we participate in a junior event, especially in cricket, football, hockey and athletics. The most famous or rather most infamous instances are the times when we won the junior hockey world cup and finished runners-up. Numerous complaints have been registered against us but we are so driven in our efforts to capture glory at the junior events that we continue to court controversy and infamy. If only we had the same drive to win things the right way

The other cricket controversies

There are three other cricket controversies which deserve an equal mention. First the ban on Sehwag for excessiveappealing in South Africa which led to a protest by the Indian side and the final test had to be played as an unofficial one. Second is the Harbhajan slapping Sreesanth episode which remains the gold standard on how things should be brushed under the carpet. And finally the Vengsarkar – Ganguly fracas, where Ganguly claimed to have been unjustifiably dropped after a good season and the former chairman of selectors promised to explain his act and give Dada more than what he had bargained for. This event caused, as many Dada fans would claim, Sourav Ganguly to make an early exit from the game. As for Mr. Vengsarkar, we are still waiting for his reply. But as it happens in Indian cricket, a few wins and everything is forgotten.

Wardrobe malfunction?

Sania Mirza and the Beijing Olympics

Another case of a victim in the ‘India Today’ list switching roles. Sania Mirza’s mom caused a major storm when she was accommodated in the Indian contingent for the Beijing Olympics as one of the officials of the tennis squad. She was not accommodated as a one member cheering squad but as one of the coaches and her inclusion was at the cost of dropping a ‘real’ coach in Rick Leach and a couple of physios, including South African Heath Mathews, whose eventual inclusion in the squad played a crucial role in the outstanding performance of the Indian boxers. And that was not all. Sania Mirza then turned up wearing trainers and not the official uniform for the opening ceremony. Some claimed she didn’t know how to wrap a saree and the official word was that she didn’t get time as she was trying to get in some additional practise. Whatever it was, it didn’t make for a pretty picture as the Indian contingent marched in and obviously the country was incensed.

Dear Mr Modi

This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time, I wanted to know what happened to all the money made from the IPL. You haven’t answered that one as yet. I guess you are too busy, what with the multiple positions that you hold. Well, we will come back to the IPL money and your numerous designations later. I have more important questions to ask first.

Freud would have loved to analyze his brain

Have you had a long history of suffering from temporary memory losses or from multiple personality disorder?

Or has the affliction been a recent one – starting from the time you saw your dream of starting the IPL?

Because nothing else can explain the recent remarks made by you regarding the ICL not satisfying the norms of authorized cricket

First you wear one hat of the IPL commissioner – someone who shamelessly copied the concept of the ICL and then called it his own. Someone who has seen the ICL make major inroads this year and feels threatened by its growing popularity.

And then you sit on the five-member ICC panel which decides what constitutes ‘official cricket’ and what does not. Is there a more clear case of conflict of interest? The only way you could be doing justice to both roles, is if you were suffering from one of the above mentioned ailments. You could then seamlessly shift into the ICC role without any influence or knowledge of your IPL role.

Then you have made the rather ignorant statement saying that there is no window in the international calendar to accommodate the ICL. Tell me seriously; which League has caused more problems to the International calendar, the ICL or the IPL. If there is any doubt then I suggest you check with the Srilankan and English cricket boards. Moreover, the ICL is largely made of aspiring or semi-retired cricketers who don’t have much to do with the international calendar anyways.

You have given two arguments as to why the ICL does not satisfy the norms of official or authorized cricket. Both these norms are news for me and surely a creation of your imagination. And that you have a really confused imagination owing to your multiple personalities makes matters worse

First you have said that the ICL is not built on a pyramid structure, whereas the BCCI-created IPL is built on one. What you forgot to add was that the BCCI pyramid has faults at every level – faults which are a result of a nepotistic architecture which forces a lot of deserving cricketers off the pyramid. Also that this pyramid has a defective foundation where little is spent on the lower levels and millions splurged on the topmost level. The BCCI pyramid is no good and therefore by Mr Modi’s argument, a league (the IPL) backed by a defective pyramid should also be unfit to be deemed official

And then there is your piece de resistance – calling the ICL a profit making exercise. What in god’s name is the IPL doing. And as already complained earlier, we are not even getting a whiff of where all that money is ending up. What were you trying to imply when you called the ICL a corporate effort – that its wrong to be transparent and promote meritocracy like they do in the corporate world. The EPL and the NBA, which you claim, the IPL has borrowed heavily from, are also corporate profit making efforts.

And what do you have to say about the Sanford 20-20. Is it official or not. Is it a corporate profit making exercise or not. Does it have a pyramid like structure or not.

You also mentioned something about the other, new, corporate tournaments that are coming up. What are these tournaments that you are talking about? Are they for real or just taking place in your imagination?

I wouldn’t be surprised if you saw corporate backed tournaments in your dreams, all the time

After all one corporate league has already been causing nightmares for you

It just keeps getting better for the ICL. Immediately after making a major inroad into Bangladesh, the league has now won new friends in SriLanka. The Lankan board has agreed to allow players aligned with the rebel Indian Cricket League to compete in the country’s domestic tournaments. Sri Lanka thus becomes the second country after England to do so – more will follow and the clamour for lifting the international ban will also gain a stronger voice. Additionally the ICL gains a new audience – which will create more cash flows and significantly improve the League’s financial health.

And there is more. A strong bitterness is brewing against the BCCI in New Zealand as well. Glenn Turner’s recent interview clearly echoes the sentiments of his country’s cricketing fraternity.

The key excerpts from the interview:

Drifting to a different topic, how do you see the current crisis in New Zealand cricket?
Yes, with the emergence of the Indian Cricket League, we have lost some of our top players. Our provincial cricket is getting weakened and it is getting reflected in our performances in the international circuit. I think it’s time the ICL affiliated players are allowed to play international cricket.

Is the NZC putting the issue forward to the ICC?
I don’t know about that, but what I don’t like is that it’s the Indian board which is calling all the shots in the matter. If somebody’s ego and the power of the mighty dollar are put ahead of the game, cricket is bound to get a beating.

Here’s a list of ICC member countries who would be quite relieved to see the ICL win (a victory means official recognition and an end to losing players to a rebel league) or the IPL lose (emergence of a strong rival league to seriously diminish the BCCI‘s clout in world cricket) – England, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Bangladesh. That’s quite a list – The BCCI is either making a lot of enemies or losing a lot of friends. Either ways Subhash Chandra isn’t complaining.

Just when everyone thought the ICL was done for and Subhash Chandra and gang were ready to pack their bags and leave, India’s first professional cricket league is back and not just literally speaking.

They have been pushed to the background by IPL but have continued to do the various small things, which ICL fans’ hope, will ensure the league’s survival for this year and beyond

They needed to expand to newer centres in the country and they have done just that by expanding to Ahmedabad. This expansion has come at the cost of a 10 crore investment towards the development of the stadium. They have quite clearly stuck to their commitment of doing their bit for the development of the game at the grassroots and reaped a few benefits in return. In addition to the expansion, they will also have a much better stadium to play in this time round.

The absence of any quotas or restrictions is the League’s major advantage. They have gone ahead and used it to their advantage by recruiting half the Bangladesh national side. The ICL is fast becoming a haven for those international cricketers who have missed out on the riches of the IPL – and this is quite a list – Mohd Yusuf is close to being the most high profile member of this club. The ICL will benefit from this disgruntled bunch to substantially improve its player quality. While it may not match the IPL, it will have just enough star power to be in business.

Consisting largely of internationally ‘banned’ cricketers, except for those playing in England, the ICL has their players at their disposal for the full year – which is huge advantage. The BCCI and other boards are already having trouble finding a window to stage the IPL on a regular basis. As a consequence of the conflict of interest – like in the case of the next IPL clashing with Sri Lanka’s proposed tour of England, the BCCI continues to invoke the wrath of other boards like the ECB, who, are none too pleased at the gaps appearing in their international calendar.

The signing of the Bangladesh players like in the case of the Pakistanis last year has two more advantages for the ICL. One it opens up a huge international market in Bangladesh – the population of that country will be quite keen to watch their home grown stars – which is almost like an alternate national side perform in the ICL. The ICL might not be able to compete with the IPL in India, but can surely give them a run for the eyeballs in Bangladesh. A case in point being ICL’s popularity in Pakistan – where matches of last edition where shown live on their biggest broadcaster Geo TV.

Additionally, it hurts the Bangladesh Cricket Board who lost some key players. They will have good reason to support the ban being lifted from the ICL players – they have nothing to gain from the IPL-BCCI-ICL fracas and only important players to lose. They will also be sore that the beneficiaries of the ban – the BCCI haven’t lost any national players to the ICL. And not that they are alone – NZL and Pakistan are also peeved. And then there is the ECB. This small bunch can soon gain enough critical mass – enough to influence the ICC. The international body is still struggling to find an answer to ICL’s petition and if pressurized enough by the victimized boards, will surely succumb.

But when is the question. It will be a huge victory for the ICL. But till then they continue to lose money and just about survive. The IPL hopes the moment will never come and even if it does comes late enough, so that the ICL is crippled by its losses and has to close before the salvation happens. At the moment it continues to be a battle of attrition between the Essel group and the BCCI. The ICL though just gained a small but significant victory.

I thought I could get away with lavishing praise on the ICL and bashing the BCCI and the IPL. Sadly for me, my crimes have caught up with me. I will have to pay for watching the ICL and writing about it.

The BCCI ban on the players and officials attached to the ICL has now been extended to the fans of the so-called Rebel league. As part of this drive, ICL watchers like me have been cut off from all forms of official cricket.

I have been branded a rebel fan and following are the restrictions imposed on me by the BCCI

• I can no longer watch any official cricket on TV. In fact my cable operator was forced to choose between official cricket and the ICL, and poor man had to take the former option and black out coverage of the rebel league. He been given a discount on the new IPL coverage tariff imposed on cable operators for his loyalty.
• Iam not allowed to enter any of the BCCI-controlled stadiums. The BCCI has installed a detection technology used by the Interpol to fish out terrorists at international airports, at all the stadium entrances. They will prevent rogues like me from creating any trouble at official cricket matches.
• All the websites covering official cricket have blocked my computer from accessing their sites and the lack of my regular dose of cricket is already giving me the withdrawal symptoms. In fact, talks are on with Google to display only official cricket –related content on searches. Thus, India will become only the second country after China to impose restrictions on the search engine.

This ban has made my life hell and I can finally relate to the plight of the players and officials who have been banned by the BCCI. I have a greater sense of bonding with them now. And why should they suffer alone. After all, we are all guilty of disobeying the BCCI. In fact, I have heard rumours that other equally guilty parties will be facing a ban soon. These include all the various vendors who have done business with the ICL. The cricket ball supplier, the tent-house guys, the travel agents, the hotel people, the bankers and even the taxi and rickshaw wallahs. Like the cable operator, who was given a second choice, these guys have been given some time to jump off the ICL bandwagon. The BCCI – just and kind as always, doesn’t want to deprive them of their livelihood and is giving them a second chance to mend their ways. And there is money to be made from these guys also. Alas, we poor fans had no such luck. At least you can’t blame the board for favouritism this time. Everyone and anyone has been an equal sufferer.

The ban is depressing. Life as a cricket fan will never be the same again. I don’t know if I can still call myself a cricket fan. Will I have to call myself something else – an anti-cricket fan or banned cricket fan or a rebel cricket fan?

You can see that Iam already going nuts.

And this could get worse.

What if the BCCI blocks my access to the remaining ‘official cricket’ media forums – newspapers, mobile updates, radio, blogs etc? What if ‘official cricket’ fans were forced to boycott us? What if, the BCCI stopped us from buying all the books about ‘official cricket’ – which covers the entire literature there is on cricket. There is so much I plan to read after I retire. What will a retired, socially inept person like me do without ‘official cricket’? I just hope the laws of this country somehow prevent such a situation. But you never know.

BCCI ke haath bahut lambe hain!